Just Perfect! (Persaud Girl) Read online

  Samantha stared at her in shock and awe. Ronica. That was the girl Micah had broken up with her for. Clearly she had worked some sort of spell on him, because Samantha could not see anything even remotely attractive about that girl that would cause Micah to fall in love with her. Samantha knew she was not vain, but it was evident that she was a thousand times prettier than Ronica.

  “Oh!” Micah said, clearly flustered that his new girlfriend and old girlfriend were together under one roof. “Ronica, this is Samantha Persaud. Sam, this is my – um -- Ronica.”

  Samantha tried to smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Ronica!” She instantly transformed into the charming Samantha that the rest of Jamaica knew, although a million thoughts were whirling through her head. She wanted to ask Micah why he had broken up with her for Ronica. Why he didn’t love her anymore, yet he loved Ronica? What did Ronica have that she did not have?

  “Here is the grading scheme,” Nathan said, wanting to get Micah and by extension, Ronica out of his flat sooner rather than later.

  “Thanks, man,” Micah said, taking the documents Nathan handed to him. “I’ll return it later.” He looked at Samantha again. “It was nice seeing you again, Samantha.”

  She nodded curtly, and watched as he and Ronica made their way back, Samantha assumed, to his own flat. She closed her eyes. This was unbelievable. It was Micah – her Micah – with another girl. It was finally clear to her. Micah was not going to be coming back to her. He had Ronica. A wave of nausea overpowered her, and she thought she might faint.

  “Sammy, are you okay?” Andie asked. She noticed that every drop of colour had drained from her sister’s face.

  “I didn’t know she was over there, Sam…” Nathan apologised.

  “She has every right to be in his flat, Nate,” Samantha said sensibly. “She is his girlfriend…” She swallowed, suddenly feeling all shades of woozy. She had not had breakfast, so it was impossible to imagine that she might throw up again. Clearly, she was wrong, she thought, and there was still some poisonous crap left in her system. She could feel it crawling its green, slimy way up her oesophagus.

  “Are you sure you’re okay, Sam?” Nathan asked. Samantha’s face was pale, and he was sure, even a little green.

  “No, I’m not!” Samantha told him. “I think I’m gonna be sick!”

  That night in bed, Samantha played back the occurrences of the day. It was all so surreal. Just seeing Micah with that girl made her nauseous, and she had been sick all over Nathan’s flat. Nathan had panicked and wanted to take her to the Health Centre, but she had firmly protested. She did not trust the Health Centre doctors. Besides, after sleeping in his bed for half the day until Andie finished her study session at the Business School, she felt perfectly fine - as though she had never been sick. What the hell kind of weird, time bound gastronomical amoeba had she caught? It was definitely time to see a doctor. And while she was at it, she should sue the proprietors of the all-you-can-eat buffet!

  She sighed and turned to her side, as she brought Ronica's smug, hard luck, black pride, pockmarked face to memory. She wondered what upset her more – the fact that Micah did not love her any more, or the fact that he loved Ronica now. She wondered how they had managed to get together in the first place. She wondered if Micah had found himself in the same predicament that she had found herself in with Jeremy Malcolm. That was not possible – Micah did not drink. Then again, neither did she, until the green thing that Chad gave her and the tequila shots. Perhaps that was what happened. Perhaps Micah had gotten drunk and had an affair with Ronica and was so guilt ridden that he had to break up with his girlfriend even though he loved her. He did not love Ronica, just as she did not love Jeremy. Micah just did not have it in him to dismiss Ronica as easily as she had dismissed Jeremy.

  Samantha’s mind moved to Jeremy as it so often did since their encounter. She recalled their night together, and the things he had told her in Starbucks. He claimed that he wanted a chance… that he had loved her since UWI. She recalled how dejected he had been when she had turned him down. She adjusted herself on the bed and wondered if Jeremy had gotten over her yet. He must have. Men like Jeremy did not pine over girls. They had women falling at their feet without persuasion. At the very least he would have Jen to help cheer him up. She sighed in the darkness and decided that it really was time to face facts: she had lost Micah to Ronica; she had lost her virtue to Jeremy. Somehow she had managed to turn into a loser through and through.

  ***

  Samantha bolted up in bed. Sweat was pouring from her body and the sheets were tangled up around her legs. She had a dream. It included Phillip's office and Jeremy Malcolm, and he had been doing things to her that she had only ever read about in those thick, juicy romance novels that she used to hide and read then dump when she was in High School. Her breathing was laboured, and she could still feel Jeremy’s hands and lips on her body.

  “What the f…!” She whispered in the darkness of the room. Where had that dream come from? She had never had an erotic dream in her life, and now she was having one about Jeremy Malcolm?

  Samantha glanced at the digital clock next to her bed. It was twelve forty-five, and the house was deathly quiet. She was afraid to close her eyes, lest the images from her dream came back. It was so real. She could almost taste the sweat from Jeremy’s skin on her tongue! It had been almost six weeks and Jeremy was still in her system? Samantha could hardly believe it. She sighed and began untangling the bed linen. The air conditioning was off, so she turned on the fan, and positioned it directly on herself. She lay on her back and pulled the covers up to her throat. Her eyes were bright, and her brain was ticking. Something was awry, but she could not place her finger on it. She just felt totally out of sorts.

  “What is wrong with me?” She wondered.

  She did not have a migraine, she did not have cramps. Her throat wasn’t itchy and she did not have a fever. But Samantha was convinced as she lay in her bed listening to the hum of the fan that everything was not okay. The numbers on the clock changed to 12:48. She wondered if she was going to die during the night. She did not want to die right after having such a licentious dream. She would be bound for hell if she did. She felt her pulse to see if it was slowing down. It was going a mile a minute. That was just as bad as a slow pulse, she thought.

  Samantha changed positions in bed and tried to think rationally. Of course she wasn’t dying. She wasn't sick... Okay, fine. She had thrown up three days in a row, but that was Bianca’s fault, and she wasn’t feeling queasy now. She was perfectly healthy, as far as she knew. Healthy people did not just die like that, even if they were being punished by God for having a dirty dream. She had no control over what she dreamt about, right? Maybe she had PMS. That was probably it. Nikki always had pornographic dreams whenever she had PMS, and she would take great pleasure in relating them to her and Bridget. Some things she can never un-hear or un-imagine, Samantha thought, as she recalled Nikki’s subconscious threesome with George and Laura Bush. Yes, it was PMS. And it would be about high time too. Damn Plan B tablets had royally screwed her cycle. Exactly how late was she though - a couple of weeks... Samantha bolted up again. Crap! It wasn't just a couple of weeks! It was more like five or six weeks!

  Finally it struck her, and a feeling of total dread came over her. Crap! Crap! Crap! She got out of bed and snuck across to Andie’s room. Her sister was asleep, spread out on her back like a starfish, with the bed linen tied up around her. Her mouth was open and a trickle of drool stretched from her mouth to her pillow. Samantha wondered whether Nathan realised how unattractive Andie was when she slept. She shook her gently.

  “Andie…”

  Andie made a ghastly snorting noise, but did not wake.

  “Andie, wake up!”

  “Wha – what’s happening?” Her eyes fluttered open, and she was concerned to see her sister standing over her.

  “Are you awake?” Samantha asked.

  “I am now!” Andie said, rubbing her
eyes. “What’s the matter? Are you alright? Are you throwing up again?”

  “No, but I need your help.” Samantha told her.

  “What could you possibly want that can’t wait until morning?” Andie asked. She turned on her side, closed her eyes again and covered her head. “As a matter of fact, it will have to wait. I’m going back to sleep.”

  “Andie, you can’t go back to sleep!” Samantha shook her once more. “Please. I need you.”

  “For what?” Andie was annoyed. “I have my exam tomorrow. I need my rest.”

  “I know, but it’s really important!” Samantha insisted.

  Andie sat up and stretched. “Alright. What is it?”

  “I think I might be pregnant.”

  91

  Just Perfect

  chapter five

  Wednesday, May 14

  “What are you going to do?” Bianca Persaud asked. She stirred her milkshake and looked at her cousin.

  Samantha did not look like herself. Her face was pale and drawn, and her usually well-coiffed hair hung in a limp, dull ponytail. Her eyes were puffy and red, either from crying or lack of sleep. It had been two days since the night she had the strange dream, and had woken up with the realisation that something was dreadfully wrong. It had been the night before Andie’s Monetary Economics exam. Andie had gone with her to the all night pharmacy in Manor Park. The First Response test that they had picked up confirmed her greatest fear. Bridget was an ass. Of course she had waited too long to take the Plan B, and as she sat with her sister and cousins at Gauchos grill, a little embryo, half belonging to Jeremy Malcolm, was growing inside her.

  Bianca asked the right question. What the hell was she going to do? For the first time in her life she did not have a solution. Her perfect life plan did not include a one night stand with Jeremy Malcolm, or anyone else for that matter, and it certainly did not include an unplanned pregnancy. What the hell was she going to do?

  “I don’t know,” she responded, trying hard not to start crying again.

  “Well, if you plan to keep it, you need to see a doctor very soon,” Bianca advised.

  “What do you mean ‘if she plans to keep it’?” Andie asked. “Of course she is going to keep it! You wouldn’t…” She looked at her sister for confirmation. “Would you?”

  Samantha did not respond. She never before thought she could consider something as abhorrent as terminating a pregnancy, but now…

  “I don’t know.”

  “I’m not saying you shouldn’t keep it,” Bianca clarified. “But this is huge. Everything is different. What about school?”

  “I don’t know.” Those seemed like the only words she knew at that moment.

  “What are you going to tell Jeremy?” Andie asked.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Samantha, for God’s sake stop saying you don’t know!” Andie was beginning to get angry.

  “Well, I don’t know, Andie. What do you want me to say? I honestly don’t know what I am going to do, I don’t know what I am going to do about school and I don’t know what I am going to say to Jeremy – if I get a chance to say anything because he made it pretty damn clear that this was the last thing he wanted... This is the most awful thing that could have ever happened!”

  “Well, I know what you should do,” Andie told her. “You should tell Mommy and Daddy…”

  “No!” Samantha declared. “I’m not telling them yet. I’ll figure out what to do. I just need a moment to think about it.”

  “Samantha there’s nothing to ‘figure out’,” Klao argued. “Andie is right. We should tell your parents. The longer we wait, the harder it is going to be. And guess what? Pregnancy is coming, not going, and if we don’t tell them soon, they’re going to figure it out on their own.”

  Samantha glared at her cousin. “Can you please just stop with this ‘we’ business, Klao. There is no ‘we’ in this. This is my problem – not any of yours, and when I figure out what to do, I will do it. I don’t need any of you telling me what to do....” Tears flooded her eyes and the watermelon that had been sitting in her throat all morning was growing bigger and bigger. If it exploded, she knew she would start crying again, and she could not lose it in Gauchos at lunch time with the eyes of the public on her. That would be a goldmine for the ubiquitous TATTLER.

  “Sam…” Andie did not know what to say.

  “Samantha, I know this is upsetting,” Bianca said, trying to be rational. “But you have to be reasonable. You have to do something – anything! Being this irrational is not like you!”

  “Neither is getting drunk in a bar, having sex with a man I don’t like, effing up taking the emergency contraceptives he got me and ending up in this enviable position!” Samantha snapped. “Clearly, Bianca, I am not myself!”

  “Look, maybe we’re getting a bit ahead of ourselves here,” Klao proffered, trying to be helpful. “Maybe it’s a false positive. Those box tests are not a hundred per cent reliable. I’m sure there are lots of precedents where they gave incorrect answers either way. That can happen, right?”

  “It’s not a false positive, Klao,” Samantha told her.

  “How do you know?” Klao asked. “You haven't seen a doctor yet?”

  “No. But I am really, really late…”

  “Oh, pshaw!” Klao waved off her cousin. “I have been late every month since I can remember and I have never been pregnant.”

  “But I have never been late before!” Samantha pointed out.

  "Exactly how late are you?" Bianca asked.

  "I haven't had a period since March," Samantha admitted.

  "Whoa, that's...." She was cut off by a sharp kick under the table and a glare from Klao. “Not a problem at all!" She continued, quickly recovering. "Look, you’ve had a very rough couple of months and plus you took the Plan B. All those combined could really mess with you.”

  “And give me a false positive? I have all the faith in you as a future doctor, Bee!” Samantha rolled her eyes. As much as she wished Klao and Bianca were right, she knew that the First Response was living up to the unsurpassed accuracy that the box boasted.

  “Well, maybe,” Andie said. “Perhaps we should buy another test. This one will be our control.”

  “And when it comes back negative, we can sue ‘First Response’ for emotional distress!” Klao added.

  Despite the horrible situation, Samantha had to smile. Klao was possibly the most litigious human being she had ever met. She secretly hoped that the next two years Klao would spend in Bar School would be very long, because the real world was not ready for that particular Persaud yet.

  “Ok,” she agreed. “We’ll pick up another on the way home.”

  “And I will sit with you while you do it this time,” Bianca decided. “Make sure you do it right.”

  “Is there a wrong way to piss on a stick?” Andie rolled her eyes.

  “Whatever!” Bianca responded. She pointed at Samantha with a straw. “You will take another test, and then we decide what we do from there, okay?”

  “Okay,” Samantha mumbled.

  Klao glanced at her watch. “This has been interesting to say the least, but I gotta bounce,” she told her cousins picking up her Burberry hobo bag and kissing each in turn. “I better start driving if I am going to make it to Montego Bay before dark. You will keep me posted on everything, right?”

  “You sure you can’t stay one more night?” Andie asked.

  “I wish, but the Mayor’s ball next week, and Mommy and Daddy say I have to make an appearance. That means I have only a few days to sort out my hair and dress and -- ugh! This is such a drag!”

  “If making an appearance at the Mayor’s ball was my only problem, I would be fine!” Samantha commented.

  Klao smiled. “Don’t worry sweetie. You’ll be fine, no matter what. And worst case scenario, you won’t have an ugly baby! I’ll be back for Grandpa’s birthday party.”

  She blew all three a second goodbye kiss before pulling on her
sunglasses and heading out of Gauchos.

  ***

  Friday, May 16

  One of the lessons that the members of the domestic team working for the Persaud family had learned over the years was that it was never a good idea to read TATTLER, the weekly gossip insert that accompanied the daily newspaper. Page Five of The Gleaner or Page Two of The Observer usually provided a more reliable and less scathing account of what was happening in the lives of Jamaica’s first family. Notwithstanding, Theresa Gordon, even after 20 years as the Persaud’s cook, could not deny herself her one guilty pleasure, and every Friday when the newspaper arrived, she would slip the brightly coloured gossip rag into her apron pocket, and while she stirred whatever she had put on the menu that evening, she would indulge in TATTLER’s version of the family’s secrets. They were very entertaining and while TATTLER often exaggerated, he never lied.

  Janise Persaud had informed Theresa that morning that her in-laws, Ravi and Sylvia Persaud were coming for dinner. That was not unusual, as the senior Persauds came to dinner at least once per week. She had organised the menu and cleared it with Mrs Persaud, as usual, and while the chicken breasts were roasting in the oven, she settled in her favourite chair in the corner of the kitchen and whipped out that day’s version of TATTLER. There were the usual stories – condolences to Amit Joshi on the passing of his father and regrets that the fun-loving Bridget would be in India all summer; something about and Rohan and Renuka, Sushil Baghaloo’s grandchildren, who were TOOC (totally out of control); a bit on Judge Peter Malcolm’s son graduating from Columbia and getting employment at Persaud Enterprises... Then, a titbit caught her eye:

  Andie Persaud has finally managed to get TATTLER’s attention, by proving that she may not be as smart as her older sister, the über-fabulous and insanely beautiful Samantha. TATTLER’s (totally infallible) sources have declared the 20 year old second (best) daughter of Andrew and Janise Persaud was spotted last week in the all-night pharmacy in Manor Park buying a pregnancy test. Yes, my dears, the ‘little Persaud who couldn’t’ has done it! There may well be a bun in the oven. Mommy better start designing maternity dresses! Andie is pictured below at Izzy’s Fashion Week 2002 show, with long time beau Nathan Hansen. Keep posted to TATTLER for more possible baby drama.